Don't sell your heart; don't say we're not meant to be -

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

4:38 AM

Grabbed from Jeko. :'D

YEAR END SURVEY

What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Broke up. Ate Dippin' Dots. Turned 18, had a debut. Drove without mum.

Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I just say the same stuff over and over again. Stop being so lazy, study hard, blalala and none of em were put into heart. o.o

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Hmmm. I unno. o.o

Did anyone close to you die?
No one close to me. xD

What countries did you visit?
This year... nada. -.-

What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Diligence. Perseverance. Punctuality !

What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Uhhhhh. Too many. Well, December 28. My debut party. :))

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Hm. Learned how to let go ?

What was your biggest failure?
Failed in Trigo. Lol.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Well, that happening after my first Judo match fell like total injury. I felt like I was gonna die. XD

What was the best thing you bought?
I BOUGHT ? Uhh. Food ? Ha ha !

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Barney's ? Ha ha. No idea. I guess no one.

Where did most of your money go?
Food, load, presents.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I unno. I can't remember anything that got me really really really excited.

What song(s) will always remind you of 2008?
When We Die - Bowling for Soup.
So Contagious - Acceptance.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? -- Happier... ? xp
ii. thinner or fatter? -- Thinner.
iii. richer or poorer? -- Richer. xD

What do you wish you'd done more?
Too many to type. o.o''

What do you wish you'd done less of?
BUM AROUND.

How many one-night stands?
Huh o.o... I guess... none ? XD

What was your favorite TV program?
Hm. Nada. :)) I dun really watch the TV.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No idea. No one pops out of my mind.

What was the best book you read?
FOR ONE MORE DAY :D

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Making april ?

What did you want and get?
Stuff... :)

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I had my debut party. 18 ! XD

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I should have made better decisions.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Better. LOL. I lost weight.... so less weight = more shirts to fit. Ha ha !

What kept you sane?
My Loveleh pc and the internet. XD

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Richard Gutierrez forevah. LOL :))

Who did you miss?
Different person every month. HA HA.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Don't expect. Expect the worst. Let go of the things that can never be yours, logically and morally.

What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:
Uhh.. Nothing. o.o Ha ha. Hmm. That I'm good with words ? XD

The most touching experience you've had this year?
Gifts ? :))

What did you like most about yourself this year?
I know when to let go already. o.o

What did you hate most about yourself this year?
I was too emo.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"But I thought that I should tell you, if it's not too late to say. I can put back all the pieces, they just might not fit the same." - When we die.

Was 2008 a good year for you?
Yuh. Since I usually base things on the last part. It Ended too well. :)

What was your favorite moment of the year?
Month of December.

What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Summer class.

Where were you when 2008 began?
I dun remember. Ha ha. Inside my room ? o.o

Who were you with?
Myself ? o.o

Where will you be when 2008 ends?
Right here, at home. Eat, open presents, internet then sleep. XD

Who will you be with when 2008 ends?
Mi Family.

Do you have a new years resolution for 2008?
Unno... ha ha. Kiss. LOL. Kidding >.<

What was your favorite month of 2008?
DECEMBER.

Did you lose anybody close to you in 2008?
Yeh..

Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Friends from ICA.

What was your favorite record from 2008?
What ? XD

How many concerts did you see in 2008?
None. Nada. Zilch.

Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2008?
I dun drink. '_'

Do a lot of drugs in 2008?
YEH lol joke. Never tried drugs.

You do anything you are ashamed of this year?
LOTS of em.

How much money did you spend in 2008?
No Idea.

What was your proudest moment of 2008?
When I chose the right path ? XD

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2008?
Fighting along the streets. Chismoso people watching. Ugh.

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2008 and change something, what would it be? La la la laaaaa ~

What are your plans for 2009?
Become a better person.

How are you different now that the year has ended?
Different, I guess.

What are your wishes for the new year?
That bitterness shall fade out of everyone's heart.

! Somehow I hear your song resound.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

11:09 PM

"I could wake up to this everyday :)

...And walk in the fields as I watch the sun smile for you,

'Cause every time I see your face, my heart smiles too."

3/4 credits: Jessica Barnido. :)

[ M e m e ]

! Somehow I hear your song resound.

5:09 PM

SO IT'S FRIDAY AND OBVIOUSLY I ONLY HAVE TWO MORE DAYS TIL MY ******* DEBUT. -.-

I still have around 4 blog entries to post, but I'm not really in the mood to make em right now - Reason: It's a sekret. Lol. So yeh, I woke up early... and yeah. I just decided to go online even though I feel too lazy to ( wow. it's a surprise that I'm not excited about the internet. ) So while I was browsing the net, mum came in to give me the ugleh 'Thank You' cards for my debut. I'm supposed to sign everything with 'Meme'. -.- I'm in the process of signing now, but I believe I still have a long way to go. Signing feels like forever and I'm not even half-way done. I'm dumb in signing cause all of my signs look different and slothful. I think I've been writing different names on every card: Meme, LMeme, Nene, Mene, Meene and I have this funny one, I suddenly wrote Memo. Lol. This signing work makes me feel more... lol. o-o

Anywho. I would like to thank my cousins Kuya John, Angelo, and Kuya Mac for helping me clean my room yesterday. Also, Donald - The friend of Kuya John. Donald is so appealing for me... and he's been staying here with us for 2 days now. *_* I'll tell you the details of my admiration for him on my other post. Lols. So yeh, my room is dam surprisingly clean now. It's actually refreshing. :| Actually, we're not yet done cleaning - especially my ewy bathroom. >.< But seeing my room this clean is already satisfying. Ang again, Imma tell you the details about my room cleaning on my other post. Lol.

Oh yuh, I asked mami to buy me a book last Wednesday. She was complaining as to why it's so expensive and it's so thin... but eventually, with all my pleading and cute eyes, she agreed. o.o It's called 'DIARY of a Wimpy Kid' XD A novel in cartoons. He he. It has lots of drawings inside... so fun to read. @.@ ! I'm half-way done. He he he he. Can't believe I'm reading on Holidays.

Ugh anyway. Why is this post so long ? I guess blogging is a nice way to release bad auras. BUT SERIOUSLY. I just wish something good happens today. My cousins are all asleep still. I was actually expecting to wake up around 11am today, but here am I... signing, mocking. Letting go is a part of my life already cause it's something that helps me up everyday.

[ M e m e ]

! Somehow I hear your song resound.

Monday, December 22, 2008

7:24 PM

I have so many things to blog about, but I'm just feeling down right now.
This sucks and it's been bugging my entire being since yesterday.

Straw. TT____TT

I really dun understand you at all. I know that I should stop and this is what I'm trying to to, but please stop trying to make me hang on still. I know it's dumb for me to think like this, but I can't help it. I'm a human being and I know how to expect even the most minute feeling in life; however I'm trying here. I'm doing my best to think well and remind myself that this isn't the right way. What do you expect me to think ? What do you expect me to feel ? What am I supposed to do ? And you're giving me more reasons to make emo posts here. TT___TT

Last night, I texted straw.

I said goodnight, (insert straw's name here).

Then you reply to me with this message:

"G'morning meme. you spelled (insert straw's name here) with a single m kagabi. hehe. wala lang. have a great day. :)"

I don't know what to reply to that and this sucks, yet again.
Photoshoot today, I should smile. >.<

[ M e m e ]

! Somehow I hear your song resound.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

9:32 PM

Fakt # 1:
Kuripot ako. Sobrang kuripot ako kapag hindi ko masyado gusto ang reason kung ba't bibili ako. Kaya naiinis ako kay Mama kasi yung mga ipon kong Yen from Papa, yun binigay niya para allowance ko this Christmas. E ayoko talaga gastusin yon para sa load ko, exchange gift dito sa bahay, at pang lakwatsya, pero wala ako choice. Hindi niya ako binigyan today ng allowance from her own money. Mapapagastos ako ng wala sa oras. Nooou. >.<

Fakt # 2:
Tamad ako. Lalo na sa mga bagay na ayaw kong gawin. Katulad nalang ng pag aattach ng napakalaking file sa email. Ilang oras ko na inaattach to at wala paring nanyayari. Hindi ako makaalis ng bahay. Bago daw ako umalis kailangan masend ko na 'tong tarpaulin na 'to. Nakakabanas. :| Ayan, nabagsak ko pa LG phone ko. Psh.

Fakt # 3:
Gusto ko na ipadevelop yung film kaso sa sobrang kuripot ko, parang ayaw ko nalang. Ha ha. Magkano ba padevelop ngayon ? Dapat kasi si Mama gagastos para dito e. Humingi ako pera, pero sabi niya ako nalang daw magbayad. Mura lang naman daw yun. May pera naman daw ako. Hay. -.-

Fakt # 4:
May photoshoot ako bukas, pero ayaw ko pumunta, pero kelangan ko pumunta. Whyyyy. Ha ha. Nakakahiya mag pose and all. Hindi ba naman ako photogenic. Mukhang sobrang joke time naman 'tong debut na to e. @_@

Fakt # 5:
Stressful mag debut. Reminder lang: Wag na kayo mag debut. Lol. XD

! Somehow I hear your song resound.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

7:04 PM

Ginising ako kanina ng maaga para sa bunutan.

May Kris Kringle kami dito sa bahay at mapapagastos nanaman ako. >.< Ha ha. Nabunot ko si Tita Andresa kaya kelangan ko bumili ng something soft today. Nakakatamad pero sige nalang. Ayoko na din talaga gumastos pero mukhang wala akong choice. 3 days kami kris kringle tas yung main gift sa December 24 at dapat worth 500 pataas. Ano naman kaya bibilhin ko para sa nabunot ko ? Mamimili pa din ako ng regalo para kay Mami, Neil, Tita Gigi, Nikki, Tita Jojo, at Ate Lita. Gusto ko din bilhan sila Karl ng regalo pero hindi na ata talaga kasya pera ko. xD Ha ha. Binigyan lang ako ni Mami ng 1k allowance pambili ng gifts at tinatanong niya ako kung kasya na yun. Gusto ko sabihin na hindi kasya pero sige nalang. Pag sinabi ko kasi hindi kasya, dami nanaman niya sasabihin. Baka uminit lang ulo namin dalawa. Lol.

Soooooo yun. Pupunta ako mall mamaya. Baka sa Festi or sa Southmall. Gusto ko gumala somewhere kaya nagyaya ako. Tas sabi ni Bata nagyayaya daw si Rai sa Tagaytay sa 30. Mukhang malabong payagan ako dun. Ha ha. Sa 28 debut ko, 29 debut ni Bea tas biglang yun ? XD Ha ha. Magpapakabait nalang ako. Hmm. May nadagdag pala sa wishlist ko. Eto shshare ko complete list ko. Ha ha ha.

Wishlist:
0. Straw ...
1. Lancer Ex
2. VAIO Laptop - Noble Brown
3. Nintendo Wii
4. Ps3
5. Nintendo DS
6. New Phone
7. Plasma Flat Screen-TV -- With cable. HA HA.
8. Drum set
9. Little turtle o.o
10. Soccerball/Basketball/Volleyball/Baseball
11. Acrylic Paint set
12. Nike Jacket
13. Converse/Vans
14. Nice top
15. LANCER EX

Ha ha ha. Ang haba ng list ko, but o well ! Let's see kung may makuha ako dian sa Christmas and Birthday ko. He he. Mami, hear my wishes. XD

May date ata kami ni Marko sa Monday tas may date din ata kami ni Jeko pagbalik niya from La Union. Ha ha ha. Gusto ko talaga gumala. Kaya sana matuloy naman mga date ko. :)) Lol. Straw kung binabasa mo 'to at malamang never mo 'to mababasa. Walalang. Miss na kita. He he. Ingat ka. Merry Christmas and a Jolly New Year. :)

[ M e m e ]

! Somehow I hear your song resound.

9:35 AM

I wrote something random while walking around SM Bicutan last night:

The hardest part of liking someone is the confusion that strikes whenever he comes to you -- it makes you happy, yet it makes you want to forget too.

Yesterday was a pretty busy and fun day. I had to wake up a little early 'cause we planned to have cotillion practice at 10am, but due to unfortunate events... we ended up leaving the house at around 12.15pm. The planned schedule was destroyed because almost everyone was late, including my sluggish self. Ryan was quite thoughtful since he brought his Innova so that there would be enough transpo for everyone. It was also funny when Rai, Rob, and Cj picked up Hanna. I just texted Rob if they could pick up Hanna (My blockmate who they never met) from KFC. I dint receive any reply so I just assumed that Rob dint receive my text, but when the those three came back from Rai's place, we were surprised to see Hanna with them. I asked how they knew who my friend was and Rob said that she was just standing there so he assumed that she's Hanna. Ha ha. So much for friendliness, Robin. xD

Anyway.

Mum decided to let us eat lunch first. So at around 12.30pm, we reached BF McDo. We had our random orders and ate quickly 'cause mum was nagging us that we were running out of time for practice. Grachie came by just to see us. I can't believe I miss her a lot. Lol. After bloating ourselves with our munchies, we then headed on to our practice place - my alma mater, ICA. It felt weird, but it also felt fun to walk around there... reminiscing the old HS Days. We then urgently started practicing. We were ALMOST complete - only Jeko and Marko were absent. Jeko is in La Union now and Marko is... not feeling well. -.- Whateve Marko. Kiddin, Ha ha. I enjoy dancing. I think it's fun. I think it makes me feel all jolly and stuff. My only problem with dancing is my wood-like body. I just unno how to shake it well. :| HA HA.

I loved the water-breaks and stuff. We were practicing at the gym and so gym = basketball court. Hihi. I got to shoot baskets again after years of months. It was indeed fun and I felt like a shooting guard (self-proclaimed, i know -.- HA HA). I just love the 3-point line. >.< But I realized something while playing. My body is unforgivable now. I've become too thin that I think I've lost half of my original energy for sports. Back in High school, shooting from the 3-point line was damn easy and a piece of cake, but now I would always have to deep charge my shoots. I should do something about this... I guess I can call myself lame now. Lol.

After getting sweaty due to practice and basketball, we then decided to retreat. My Hs friends went somewhere else to eat right after that, while I went on with my mother, cousins (Karl, Michelle, Nikki, Miggy, Angelo), and Hanna. We stopped at Valley-1 and waited for Hanna to get in a Fx. After that, home at last. It's been years since I actually got to hang out with my cousins. We were just talking about random stupid stuff while devouring our hot pandesal and vanilla ice cream... and after a few minutes we just stayed inside my lil room, music connecting us all. Everything that each of us said was laugh-worthy, but we were cut off by a call from Michelle's dad asking them to go home already since it was running late. So they fixed themselves, then Mum, Neil, Nikki, and I drove them to Betterliving. Thereafter, we decided to go to SM Bicutan to check out the grocery and eat dinner. I saw this Converse Skate Shoes and I love it. It won't come out of my head up until now, but I'm surprisingly shy to tell Mami that I want her to buy it for me. NEVERTHELESS I still want it. I love it. I must get it. Someday. LOL. xD

CHRISTMAS IS SO NEAR.
MY BIRTHDAY TOO. BLAH.

"I need better days." - Memo

[ M e m e ]

! Somehow I hear your song resound.

Friday, December 19, 2008

11:05 AM

GAYCRAP

So we had our Paskuhan today.
So we ate at Mcdonald's.
So we had fun.
So we watched Bamboo.
So we took infinite photographs.
So we went to Starbucks.
So I completed my stickers.
So we had fun.
So we savored every minute of it.

So we bid goodbyes.
So Straw hugged me tight.
So Straw whispered to my ear a happy birthday.
So Straw said sorry for the absence on my upcoming debut.
So Straw whispered smiles to my ears --
So it made butterflies creep through my spine.

So everyone had to go.
So I had to let go.

But I did not want to.
And I know I had to.
But I had to say more.
And I should learn how to PAUSE.
But it was the only chance left.
And if I said something friendship would have faded.
But I just could not let go.
And I did not want Straw to go.

No matter what I do,
No matter how I do,
I will always feel blue.
No matter what songs I sing,
No matter what my heart can bring,
I can never give you a ring.

So tonight, love.
Allow me to think of you,
Allow me to dream of you,
Allow me to see you,
Allow me to talk to you,
Cause there is just nothing else that I can do.

[ M e m e ]

! Somehow I hear your song resound.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

11:00 AM

I can't sleep and my thoughts are bugging me.

Lab report:
I really feel lazy right now. It's 3am and I have no idea what to write, but I have to finish it for the sake of my group mates' grades. I feel annoyed that it's my turn to do this and today is just not the right for me to make this crap.

Judo Competition:
I have to go to USTe later before 8am and I am really nervous right now. At least winning my first match would make me feel good, but my first opponent will be from the College of Architecture. Judo members from Archi are really good and yeah, I'm just a damn beginner. I really need rest, yet I'm here awake, trying to think of what to write for Lab report. Total crap. -.-

Paskuhan:
Paskuhan will be on Friday and I'm still confused about my gift list. I've no money anymore due to treasuring problems (Another CRAP) and yeah, it sucks. I gotta buy the gifts on Thursday, but still I don't know what to buy for them. Also - The Pillow. I don't think I still want to give the pillow to this someone who I think wouldn't appreciate it at all. I just don't know anymore. o.o

Debut:
2 more weeks and it's going to be my debut. We need at least two more practices for cotillion. I still have SO MUCH to work on and it's stressing me out. Aside from those works, mum is stressing me out too with her rants and random odd ideas. I just want this to be done quickly. I want a peaceful Christmas vacation. :|

Wishlist:
I really don't know what mami will get me for Christmas and Birthday. I hope I get a good one... something like DS or Wii or PS3 or New Phone or Laptop or Lancer Ex - I wish. Ha ha ha. She told me that she's gonna give me another gift - trip to somewhere. I'm feeling England, France... just guessing. :)) Ha ha.

Lab report:
Again, it sucks. x[

Love:
I'm loveless. Ha ha. Maybe crushless - Lols. Well, I'm not so sure anymore. I'm just into bumming around now and playing DotA and valuing my close friends and music. I don't enjoy writing stuff any longer... I know I'm lacking inspiration, but no one is there to drown me with it. Should I be happy about this ?

LSS:

Driveway - Making April

So we pull into your driveway,
I don’t want you to leave.
The stars get your attention,
I lean back in my seat and we just talk,
And listen to the mix that you had made me days before.
And I was never good at this,
Insinuating lines that might lead to that first kiss.
So roll your eyes with every awkward line I fumble,
Until I get this right.

Was I wrong to take this bound ?
‘Cause I’m in love with what I found.
But you’re coy and you’re holding things back,
And I know you but I can’t see through.
These doors that you won’t let me in.

I guess I’ll turn around, I’ll turn around, and go.
Well I’ll just go.

And I’ll wake up with this taste of,
A bitter sweet despair.
‘Cause holding you is like fighting for,
A final breath of air that drifts the room tonight.
I’m getting tight and I can feel you falling off.

So give me one more chance I’ll take this.
One more shot I’ll make this.
One more feeling I can’t get from anyone but you, but you.

Sleep:
Now is probably the best time for me to sleep.

WAKE UP ON TIME later. @_@

[ M e m e ]

! Somehow I hear your song resound.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

6:40 AM

I'm so sleeeepy, but I know I have so much stuff to work on. Why, oh why do we even have to sleep ? Why do we even get dreams ? Why do we even know how to breathe ? Nightmare or Fairytale, I just should love it anyway. Cause I enter a world everyday that no one else can enter. I'm making no sense at all. I'm sleepy, but I must not ! >.<

LSS:

I’m racing time for you
You know I need this now
‘Cause I’ve been burning all my aspirations down
But I’ve been feeling closer day by day
You know I’ll chase you down

[ M e m e ]

! Somehow I hear your song resound.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

2:08 AM

We had an activity in Social Psychology not so long ago. We were to write something about the person depending on how we perceive them and I got surprised with what the others wrote here Lol. :3

Mum will be back home later and I will pick her up together with my aunt and cousin. Back to normal life. Back to being a kiddo. Back to mother-daughter responsibilities. Sounds fun ? NR. :)

[ M e m e ]

! Somehow I hear your song resound.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

5:55 PM

I Wrote This Song - Making April

No, I wouldn't go that far.

So many things have happened and I just can't put them all into words or maybe I'm just too damn lazy to do so. Whatever the reason is, I just really want to share something that has been bugging my mind since yesterday afternoon.

Manila Bay Dining Cruises.

[ M e m o ]

! Somehow I hear your song resound.